Honored Sociopath of the Week: Ellen Degeneres

“Don’t eat animals, wear them on your face!”

That’s the message from honored sociopath of the week, CoverGirl spokes model and animal activist Ellen DeGeneres!

We really have to hand it to her, being a vegan is hard work; being a hugely famous activist vegan promoting make-up made out of animal parts is almost impossible, but Ellen (and her wife Portia) pull it off  with a wink and funky dance!

Any visit to Ellen’s site can make even the most hardened animal eaters think twice about their choices, and a single glimpse at Ellen’s smooth skin in a CoverGirl ad will make the most die hard animal lover want to smear her face with a furry friend’s tallow and tissue (collagen and stearic acid). Now that’s masterful salesmanship people!

Here’s the full story: About two years ago Ellen realized that all real celebrities have causes that they push. Sometimes they care, sometimes it’s just great publicity and even greater tax deductions. So Ellen (who starred in this Emmy winning commercial) told the world, “Hey, I love the animals, I will no longer eat any part of them or use their bi-products!” A month later she signed a contract to be the face of CoverGirl, owned by awesome, todo del mundo conglomerate Procter & Gamble. That little decision help make our Ellen one of the richest and most photographed women in the world!

Not everyone can play on both sides of the fence; that takes talent, balls and sociopathy. Ellen’s got all three! Sure a few PETA freaks shook their heads at the madness of it, but for the most part everyone went right on loving Ellen, as they should!

She and Portia were even honored by the Humane Society in 2009, for helping get Prop 2 passed so that all animals would be treated right! Just not the ones on her face.

Hello activist cache, loving fans and money in the bank! Can life get any sweeter for this Happy Sociopath? Let’s wait and see!

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About Robin Reiser

Comedian, Writer and Author of world renowned self-servicing book, "The Happy Sociopath." You need it, really.
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